My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
