That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just want nice things and good sex
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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