Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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