you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
