I am spending my child support on dildos
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
