Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
