Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
why do cheetos always look like penises
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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