I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
