You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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