i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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