quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
