After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
