I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
