My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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