Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I feel like a drive thru vagina
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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