Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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