I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
