I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
