just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
