she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
