Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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