Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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