Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm jealous of your bromance
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
