What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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