im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You have to summon your inner elephant
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