big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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