there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
