I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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