The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
