he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
