i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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