I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm always down for nudity.
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