help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
