jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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