Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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