"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
