In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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