I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The uberlube is also flammable
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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