Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
