im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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