Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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