I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
