how hairy? two words: wookie tits
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
