I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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