Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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