His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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