I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's the barista slut.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
