That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
