I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
