Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
