And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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