it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
