I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
