I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
