As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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