Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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