Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
