seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I am available for nakedness
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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