i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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