Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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