Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
