he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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